Union Jack Skull artwork with permission from Ben Allen.
Can you smell the sausages BBQ’ing? See the pot bellied, tattooed British men giving it the large on the pavements? Can you hear the radios spurting out plastic pop music and hits of yesteryear through tinny speakers hanging from dirty windowsills? Bunting waving in the wind from every lamp post? Oh yes, it’s the celebration that the great British public love – the Queen’s Reign of 60 years, the Diamond Jubilee, the same national event that will be celebrated by millions across the United Kingdom this weekend ahead of the Olympics, and oh, what it is to be British!
The working public will be raising glasses of plonk in the streets to Her Majesty’s service, all of them granted with a day off to party and celebrate her fascinating milestone. The streets will be alive with tales of the good old days, before the internet ruined it all, when families sat down to eat together, when porn was found in the woods, when records were actually bought rather than stolen. The Royal one will be sat at the throne waving her hands at the minions below whilst people hit the streets, ensuring burglars capitalise on the fun due to the worst recession we have seen in years. Partly due to greedy debt her people acquired so they can be seen in the latest designer clothes to clone the looks of the Prince and Princess and the actors and musicians they aspire to.
Not everyone will be waving Union Jacks this weekend. There are many across the country who simply don’t give a monkeys about the Royal spongers and would have not forgotten the days of them sitting at the head of Pall Mall with their smug faces back in the 1970’s, not paying tax, swallowing champagne and having butlers do everything for them.
Whilst Britain remembers itself for a week for the first time in ages, we decided to roll out our top 3 songs that poke fun at the establishment. Yes, they are all golden oldies, as there are not actually that many artists out there these days with any bollocks or lyrical skills to change the perceptions of the general public. In the 70’s, times were tough but people had a voice compared to these days where Anarchy means signing a Facebook petition. For the best results, play these all three songs at 11.
3. The Exploited – Royalty
Politically brash Scottish punks, The Exploited were well-known for their criticisms of the Thatcher government so “Punks Not Dead” album track “Royalty” came as a natural progression of their anti-authoritarian ethos. Here, the Queen receives some serious slandering in the form of lyrics “dirty little bitch” and “fucking little cow”. Mowhawk filth.
2. Sex Pistols – God Save the Queen
No anti-monarchy countdown would be complete without an appearance from Mr Rotten and his gang of filth and fury. The most celebrated anti-monarchical assault in history needs no explanation but to refresh those who don;t know, Virgin Records insisted it came out on the Jubilee in 1977 with the band celebrating the fact with a trip down the Thames on a boat. Their manager Malcolm McLaren was beaten up by the pigs with truncheons as they reached land and the band picked up more headlines than Diana conspiracy theories. ‘God Save The Queen’ went to number 2 in the charts, conspired against by the BBC and the Charts Company to keep it off the top spot. This is one of the best records of all time but sits at number 2 in this countdown once again to make way for…
1. Peter and The Test Tube Babies – The Queen Gives Good Blow Jobs
West Sussex’ moped-hating punks Peter and the Test Tube Babies shocked the scene with release of ‘The Loud Blaring Punk Rock Album’ back in 1984. Filled with derogatory lyrical filth across short but catchy punk tunes that gave a damn good pogo, they single-handedly take the most offensive Queen of England related dig from the mouth of singer Peter Bywaters with his take on Her Majesty’s love of giving fellatio. This album is one of the cheekiest British punk rock albums of all time, find it, be repulsed and sneer with them.
Thanks to artist Ben Allen who allowed us to use his amazing artwork. You can buy this limited edition art directly from here, find him on Facebook , Twitter, and via his blog.
Ben’s next solo exhibition DIRTY SEXY MONEY is his first London solo art show. An introduction to modern day pop art with a spinkling of skulls.
London June 28th – 30th 2012
TURNER | BARNES | GALLERY
32 Store Street
London
WC1E 7BS
Chelmsford July 5th July – 28th July 2012
TURNER | BARNES | GALLERY
Boyton Hall Farm
Chelmsford, Essex
CM1 4LN
Skateboard legend Duane Peters chats to Craig Questions about how he got into skateboarding, Jason Jesse, the strains on your bones from skateboarding, fucking sheep and injuries in part one of this sofa session. 
