Skateboarding Product Reviews

Spitfire Highlander Backpack

The Spitfire Highlander is supposedly designed for the more sophisticated skater, which, if you’re paranoid as I am could be misinterpreted as a form of discrimination. As I’m sure you’ve noticed, the skateboarding demographic consists of only about 5% sophisticated skateboarder and a whopping 95% scummy bastard, myself falling in that wider bracket. My argument is on behalf of that 95% who could be potentially be missing out on a perfect bag by incorrectly assuming it’s designed for those skaters suffering from serious illusions of grandeur. You know the sort, those that turn up to skate spots with a messenger bag big enough to hold a mouse mat, a pair of Ray-Bans and an ironic vintage dildo. This is simply not one of those bags.

The filthy roast-poncer kind of skater craves a bag that’s got enough room for all my scummy bastard possessions. This includes but is not limited to the following: poorly-made sandwiches, cheap booze, a hammer that I never use but feel I should carry at all times regardless, a spare change of clothes, a shower in a can (deodorant) four issues of various skate magazines that came out the year before, one large packet of Doritos, 14p lemonade, Balti mix and a vintage dildo that’s in no way ironic whatsoever. This bag has enough room for all that crap and more.

It boasts two massive main compartments, a hidden organizer for school/work (read: sandwich/hammer compartment), comfortable straps, fleece lined iPod/dildo pocket, all covered in a heavy duty fabric construction and Spitfire embroidery throughout. So yeah, if you’re a self-proclaimed ‘sophisticated’ skateboarder or a massive twunt then this bag will not only fit your mouse mat but your massively inflated ego too! And if you’re a skateboarder who needs a bag for practical purposes then this is for you. It doesn’t look bad at all either. Spitfire are winning.

Bellend Sebastian

Pfanner rides the fire and he is HOT SHIT. You should probably try to skate more like him and then you’ll win a lot more.