Beauty and the Beast 2

So the honeymoon is over and from the abundance of Pabst Blue Ribbon seen throughout the tour it seems like both the blushing bride (Girl) and the grizzly groom (Anti-Hero) have already developed a post-wedding drinking problem. The tension shows, as our first encounter with this wonderfully oxymoronic pair last year the Beauty edit was a little clean cut for my taste, while the Beast knew exactly how a concrete skatepark tour should be treated.

Yes, we skateboarders do not shell out for high-def pivot fakies to a Boards of Canada soundtrack (though saying that I probably would), we want our cash converted into fucking GOLD – raw, haggard skating, big airs where the dude can barely keep his balance upon landing, punk rock, staffs made of empty booze cans and nosebluntslides that go EEEEEEEEEEECHHHHH. This time around the honeymoon is absolutely over and the bride is pissed off, and I love it.

The action is pretty well distributed throughout as in it doesn’t stop for breath, this year the Beauty edit mixes savage footage with passive aggressive editing that will have you skating before you can even think about watching the Beast edit. It’s a shame that Sean Malto had to drop out with a pretty horrendous looking hellbow, and Mike Carroll’s retarded child of the happy couple bonus edit was sadly absent (he got a spider bite, so ignore your pseudo-Buddhist intentions and kill that fucker the next time you see one in the tub, anyone who messes with Carroll is riddled with bad karma), but B & B are the gift that just keeps on giving.

The standard of skating is spectacular as expected, the big ones to watch are Vincent Alvarez, who looks set to be the next big ATV in skateboarding’s proverbial driveway and Chris Pfanner is pfast and pfucking pfantastic. He’s also the only man in history with a name so alliteration unfriendly that every skate journalist has done what I’ve just done to make up for it. This impresses me.

So once again Girl and Anti-Hero provide the perfect excuse to crack open a can of whatever-you-like and vicariously live the most fun sausage fest I wish I was in. Get on it.