Category: Skateboarding Product Reviews

Right, I’m not sure where to start really. I’ve never read a sock review before so don’t really know what to write about. Well here goes.

The first thing you notice about these Crailtap socks is probably how hideous they are. Argyle never suits, or has ever suited anyone, even golfers. I suppose at least these are made of some of the less offensive argyle out there.

I’ve got to say, they are damn comfy. Never thought I’d say that about a pair of socks, but as soon as I pulled them on over my gnarled-up skate feet I was walking around in a world of soft. One gripe I have with them is the lack of friction between the socks and the inner soles of my skate shoes, so I feel a little like I’m walking around on highly polished wooden floors. A few more tests and it seems to happen with most of my other shoes, so think about your sock/shoe combos carefully before going out. Safety first kids.

As with everything associated with the Crailtap family, there is a small Crail logo on the ankle. In pink silk stitching, just to add to how ludicrously ugly these socks are. If the argyle pattern doesn’t stop your girlfriend from talking to you, the pink logo will.

What I loved about these socks was the slogan printed on the sole of them, that no-one will see unless you are giving them a swift kick to the face, which won’t even hurt anyway because you’re wearing socks. The saving grace of having the words ‘Putting the sole in asshole’ made me piss myself laughing when I saw it. The girlfriend was only mildly amused and kept saying how worried she was that I was this excited about a pair of socks, and that I should probably sleep on the sofa tonight.

We all know that Crailtap don’t take themselves too seriously, which is why they have created such a hideous pair of footgloves. Argyle, pink logos, the word ‘asshole’: these all add up to a stupid pair of socks that give you at least 5 minutes of entertainment before one of them disappears into the void where socks hang out and fuck each other.

Moose

8/10

www.crailtap.com

The board arrived in a futuristic plastic wrap with the words “Experimental” in bold stamped on top. A Rodney Mullen signature model of yet another ground-breaking design- the Uberlight- had arrived, and I was to be its test pilot.

Almost skateboards have a pretty rad team that push the envelope so to speak, so the materials they use need to be up to scratch. You know you’ll always get the latest in skateboard utlity design when a young chap who single handedly created virtually every technical trick is your team captain. Rodney Mullen once had a video part that mixed advanced maths, mini pink shorts and more flip variations than a handful of Blitz catalogues at Christmas, and nobody laughed. Instead jaws hit the floor. That said, I was pretty stoked to test an Almost Uberlight prototype -1 of 500 made.

The Uberlight gets it’s name from the advanced board construction that incorporates thin layers of ply sealed with epoxy glue and a back bone of carbonite that runs through the heart of the deck from nose to tail. What this stretch of carbon does if keep the weight down and the response up. Strength, pop and rigidity are key words involved in this futuristic design. And it works.

Well, that’s not exactly true. You see, after 6 weeks of skating this board still has impressive pop and strength, but the wood has begun to wear down a bit and the shape isn’t keeping up appearances either. I don’t know exactly what strain of wood Almost have used to ply the Uberlight, but after a month, the tail was almost shaved down to a razor and the tail felt like it had sunk slightly. The most annoying thing about this design though was it’s shape: A strange sort of double nose- or should I say double tail because the nose was pretty tiny in actual fact. Popping nollies of this length of wood and carbon was a lot harder than you’d expect. I’d like to think I was getting weaker with old age, but since I swapped boards, I know that that is not the case.

I’ve kept this board for a rainy day because I know the pop will persist, but I won’t try and nollie any puddles. Keep the shape in mind when you look out for Rodney’s Uberlight, but don’t doubt general design. The Almost camp are still pushing skateboarding on each and every level.

7/10
RL-D
16.07.07

To be perfectly honest, I still can’t figure out how having a comic strip painted across the bottom of a skateboard resembles Rick’s love of shoes, but in all honesty, who gives a flying fuck; It’s a skateboard at the end of the day and the graphic is the first thing to go!

This particular model, like many other Girl pressings, comes to you flat footed and has hardly any concave to it at all. To most skaters who like to diversify their skills across street as well as transition, this board would seem the impossible choice, but I happen to think its all a pile of shit and you should try something new from time to time, you might even like it! This isn’t the first time I’ve unwrapped a girl and probably wont be the last either, I liked the one I rode a few years back and this one was no exception.

Howard’s design on this piece is border-line to flawless; it’s got a subtle tail lift with slightly steeper nose and fits the criteria of the classic 90’s skateboard, crafted with passion. Nowadays people are ingesting all kinds of useless shit into finding the perfect ride, but I’m too old fashioned that way and stick to classics made from organic materials…WOOD! It’s a really poppy bastard too and has lasted me whopping 3 months, that’s beaten the last board I killed by almost a month and is still fine for a few sessions. It’s a good size too as it comes in just under and 8″, but is slightly bigger than your average tech deck.

I don’t know what Girl boards retail for these days, but if you can get your hands on a nice one, then I suggest rolling with it! They are excellent skateboards, produced by this industries more knowledgeable heads, thus giving them the upper hand as wisdom clearly prevails throughout their product range.

8/10

Live FAST, Ride FAST
2P

One of the first shoes I ever skated in, all those years ago was a pair of éS Accels. And despite being praised as one of the best skate shoes in history, a simple design, durable and easily adaptable, I struggled to get along with it.

They seemed clunky. And even when I decided to begrudge them a second chance when the Accel Plus was released, back when all this fancy pants system G2 malarkey was barely heard of, I loathed them. If I ever wound up on the wrong side of an august mafia don, with an extravagant name (that would probably influence me to start up a pizzeria in the same name if I was to survive my encounter with him), and was intent on me sleeping with the fishes. The last thing I would want is for him to pull out a pair of Accel Plus and strap them on to my feet. I’d have sunk on some serious Titanic level of proportions.

Vaughan’s homely autumn touch to the Emerica Trans-Ems looks superb. And undeniably congruous of the images connected with a fiery British winter. However, I couldn’t help but have hideous flashbacks of those fucking Accels. Artwork aside, they are the spitting image of them. The design, the shape, even the sole was screaming, “ACCEL” in a haunting, banshee like voice. I was a tad wary to put them on my feet and go anywhere near water. Naturally, it was raining outside.

So, when in the comfort and safety of my own home, I shoved them on. And fuck me was I wrong about these shoes. My feet were transported to another dimension of comfort, to the degree in which I think tiny elves were hidden in the stitches of the shoe and were persistently reassuring my feet that everything is just fine. I was in love. And had an irresistible urge to go skateboarding. It could have been flash floods outside and I still would have gone. Thankfully, I don’t live anywhere near Yorkshire, so I could skate to my foot’s content. So while the STI foam doesn’t reassure me about going into any dark crevasses belonging to any female inhabitants of Essex unprotected, I did feel capable of throwing my self down any number of stairs, without any socks on.

These shoes really are everything you could ever want in a shoe. Snug as a bug in a rug, who’s dressed as a thug and sipping tea from a mug. While not for one second faltering on other essentials such as decent grip, durability, and gorgeous aesthetics to match. I would really recommend these to anyone, and while that was also said to me about Accels, I really can’t imagine anyone hating these beauties, as much as I hated them. At all.

www.emericaskate.com

Joe Moynihan.

British summers are amazing, we get 3 months of sun (supposedly) and then we are rained on consistently. Thankfully Element sent us one of these to get us through these wet times and it was the best move yet.

Essentially the Bunker is a windbreaker with a hood and zipped pockets. The inside pocket is deep enough for your iPod not to fall out whilst you skate and the material itself allows you to breathe which is always handy if you are human.

One thing for certain though is the fact that the fashion police are not going to bust you wearing this. It looks dope, feels dope and smokes dope. It’s light, scrunches down to a small ball for storage and will save your arse even if it’s hot out.

This is THE jacket of the year so far, go grab one.

Chuck Bangers

I’ve always been a fan of Enjoi decks, well, as enthusiastic about them as I could be considering I had never actually stepped on one. Enjoi adverts never fail in making me guffaw whole heartedly, and I’m sure you’ll agree that Bag Of Suck was a video that mashed the barrier between pissing around and genuinely epic skateboarding perfectly. Plus I was always overly partial to that Jerry Hsu deck that did the rounds last year, the one with kittens and rainbows on it. If I weren’t so reckless with my money I happily would have indulged in 5 of them. But then, that would be equally as reckless as what I spent my money on instead. Ah well.

One paragraph and 124 words into this review, and I haven’t even mentioned the deck that I had the pleasure to take on a test drive around the newly laid concrete in Essex. No, not Saffron Walden, that’s far too mainstream. In true Enjoi style, I took this deck to a new crete park in Grays, consisting of a quarter pipe with coping the size of a trombone, and this horrid tarmac floor that sucks you in like quicksand. It’s already claimed the lives of four local groms. Probably because they’re abec rating was too low. Anyway. Considering I had put Enjoi on a pedestal, I was really eager to see how the deck played its role. I was stoked to find out that it was more than just a useless wooden toy.

What struck me first is it’s absurdly lightweight construction. Such a contrast from my last two decks, which seemed bulky and soggy, and made skateboarding more of a chore. This beauty put the fun back into zipping around parks, without having to lift the weight of a thousand planets to get onto a ledge. The resin 7 epoxy construction makes it more stable than so solid crew too, and helping it stay as light as it should be.

It has a tidy mellow concave, and keeps a good relationship with your feet throughout your ride. No awkwardness in getting used to a bizarre shape, just hop on and go. Cracking. And while it doesn’t have pictures of kittens and rainbows, the artwork by Todd Bratrud is pretty fucking rad anyway. Well, what’s left of it.

Overall, a great deck that didn’t disappoint at all, and makes the sound of buying 5 of them a lot more sensible that I would have thought. Shame that Jason Adams has done the offs though..

9/10

Joe Moynihan

Anything titled the Uncle Rico has to be picked up. It’s a fact. When this shirt left the packaging and pulled itself over my head i knew that i was going to fall in love. It doesn’t happen often.

You have to be in the mood, annalyse your choice and go with your gut, then you move in for the kill once you are certain, and then there’s no going back.

What Uncle Rico did so well was to fill the gap between feeds. I mean this shirt is quality through and through and fits you like a glove. I opted for the red, but the green was calling from the off and i knew i had a fight on my hands. Red won by a feather but there’s no regret.

Check www.elementskateboards.com for love.

Chuck Bangers

The new Independent Clothing range is now in the shops and it boasts some killer new designs starting with these 2, the Propaganda and Demand The Best. The t-shirts’ soft-as, but the designs are hard as fuck.

Whilst we are on the subject of Indy, you must also check out these new shirts as they make you feel like you are one of the Big Lebowski.

I pulled a Milf in this Page Mill shirt last week cos of the frilly bits on the front, it was a talking point, use it. You know sometimes you can put on a crap cotton shirt and your nipples get stuck on the rough? Well it didn’t happen, my moobs are happy…and if they are, so am i.

You may as well get a new skate bag to throw these in when you next go down to your local SOS. I have been using this London Rucksack and it does everything you need. I visited that London once. I remember i was expecting to see cockney Kings and Queens, pie and mash and fat Pat from Eastenders but only managed to find tourists and no one spoke English! Oh well, at least the curried chips were £4 a pop. Southern twats have all sold out but i tell ya what, these London rucksacks have got it all.

Go get these or die not knowing life was Built to Grind.…

Chuck Bangers

DVS have got a pretty solid team that can man-handle just about every kind of terrain you throw in their path.

If you’re going to charge at a 14 stair rail or a tetris type of manual pad configuration, board control is key and the one thing between you and your plank is the shoes you wear. DVS equip their riders with top knotch kicks and the Munition is military grade footwear ready for any mission.

The first thing that appeals to me about the Munition is the simple yet solid design. Padding, thickness and stitching in all of the right places, and no soggy bag style or concrete block bulk here. Skate shoe designers are like sheep because the second something starts to sell, you can be damn sure everyone has got their identical variant to offer too. I won’t say DVS don’t follow trends because they recently re-designed this shoe with the ever popular vulcanised sole, but in any case the Munition was designed with skateboarding in mind.
The pair I tested skated straight out of the box which always sets things off to a good start, and after a good couple of months, I could still attend extra-curricular activities in them without fear of people spotting my socks through a hole, or my feeble attempt at threading three short pieces of lace together.

You get the idea- no real damage occurred to the outer shell or laces that keep things tight.

However, I was a little surprised at the speed with which the rubber sole wore down. I might be a good dancer, but I don’t so the Truffle Shuffle on my grip each time I set up for a trick. So, the Munition didn’t save me a few slippery moments when I least expected them.

I have since moved onto a different pair of kicks, but I still have these DVS shoes stashed safely away for future battles with the harsh concrete.

7.5/10

RL-D

First off, I think I should mention that I’m writing this review whilst listening to Carcass “Symphonies of Sickness” just because it automatically tells you, the reader, how cool I actually am. Note- gore rather than black metal- which is a bit gay nowadays. Plus Carcass are from the Midlands, like Black Sabbath.

Right, so I got this Heathen deck to review- which is rad because I’m a stinky skinflint and hate paying for boards. So I’m automatically going to say I love this board because it’s free. I mean seriously, what can you write about a skateboard- they’re all the same. Would carcass write a review on scalpel blades? No. They’d be too busy using them to bisect soon-to-be cadavers.

I’m not too sure about Heathen- I’m getting mixed messages from this board. For example, there’s a pirate ship on the bottom of this deck. Which is gay. Carcass wouldn’t write a song about a pirate ship. Well, maybe post “Heart work”- but no good metal band stays sick forever. Even Sabbath went wibbly wobbly. But what’s confusing is that the pirate ship has the Black Flag bars on one of its flags and an inverted crucifix on another. Both of these symbols are seals of approval. If you see a live band you’ve never even heard of, you can tell how shit they’ll be if not one of the band members has the bars tattoo. As soon as you see those 4 wobbly lines embedded under someone’s skin, you know they’re going to rip. Even more so if it’s a d.i.y blade and biro ink jobby. But why put them on a flag of a pirate ship? Pirates are gay- you never see chicks on pirate ships. I read that Pirates used to fuck stingray mouths because it feels exactly like quamf- not that’d they’d know, because they’re all gay.

I’d love this board much more if they did away with the pirate ship altogether and just had the bars or the inverted crucifix filling up the whole graphic. Inverted crucifixes are just as rad, but you can’t trust good all fashioned Satanism like you used to- not everyone who dons the upside down cross owns copies of the first two Bathory albums.

On top of the wood is also a top graphic of a shark jawbone- top graphics are hot because you get to cut massive holes in your grip tape- and if you push mongo, means you ain’t going to put holes in the bottoms of your sole shuffling your foot around. I’m mongo. No shit. Not that it matters, because I just covered the top in Skulls stickers anyway. I heard one of the guys involved in Heathen has the same jawbone image tattooed on his side or hip or something. Bad move- the only legit skate tattoo is the Thrasher logo– they’re the only thing in skateboarding you can swear by.

Other things to note about this skateboard-
-it’s wood.
-it has a nose and a tail.
-it has concave.
-it has 8 holes so you can attach your trucks to the bottom- not that you would -because you’re too busy reading this rubbish online.
-it has a really gay pirate saying on the graphic- something like “No Love lost” or something. Love?! Love is for gays. Carcass don’t write songs about love.

In conclusion, apart from the graphics, this board is great. And is from a British company. So if I were to ever buy a board, which I don’t like doing, I’d definitely buy British skateboards. Carcass are British. See what I’m sayin’?

www.heathenskateboards.co.uk

7/10

Zombie