Rumours are coming into Crossfire HQ via local skaters who report that Neanderthal Man turned up at Prissick Plaza on Sunday night and ate a kid in front of his two parents.
The child cannot be named for legal reasons due to his age but his parents who were eating a bag of chips and mushy peas at the time, saw the beast run across the manual pad and knock their kid out clean with a club.
This is the 4th sighting of Neanderthal Man in the space of 3 weeks and reports have rocketed since the arrival of This’n’That, the new skate video from Andy Evans.
Pro skater Pete King says “sometimes Romans and Normans have turned up at skate parks getting in the way and scaring the kids but Neanderthal Man just clubs and eats whole, the maddest cannibal on earth right now, first we thought it was bad enough with chavs and now this!“.
Watch out at your local skate spots kids, you could be next.
You can read how to tackle Neanderthal Man if you click here.