Selfridges are really going to town on their fashionable skateboard section right now. Check out this Sacai effort, a snip at £8500 that comes with a warning from Selfridges – “Due to the delicate nature of this item it is a display piece only, skating is not advised.” No shit sherlock.
Next up is Alexandra McQueen’s estate, who have produced this denim-topped nightmare. “Designed exclusively for Selfridges, this board is the easiest way to maintain your high-fashion credentials down at the half-pipe.” It’s steal at just £1000. If McQueen had turned up mall grabbing that at his local park, it surely would have saved him a job.
Or you could spend a nifty £4000 on this deck made by Caité. “Handcrafted with thousands of glass pearls, this one-off skateboard deck custom made by the Ciaté London team is a truly luxe way to travel. An ode to the original and best-known Rainbow Caviar Manicure which caused a Beauty storm back in March 2012, the board was glossed with a slick of Strawberry Milkshake pink and coated with multicoloured sprinkles, giving it that cupcake sprinkle finish.”
Did you actually just read that?! There is no end to this nightmare, and there are so many more. Wait until you see the helmet…