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Photo: Owen Hopkins – Nosegrind in Bristol by Trix.
After pressing play on the last DVD of the decade to be gracing the front of Sidewalk, Bristol’s Finest, I barely had time to pour milk on my cornflakes before Dan Wileman was 360 flipping out of lengthy manuals in a Crocodile Dundee get-up. This is a flick that sees no shame in premature gnar-jaculation, choosing to drop the heavy bassline into this visual mixtape instantly rather than faff around with any editing or HD foreplay. This is Bristol, remember? Or, more accurately, if all those subverted North Face logos are anything to go by, this is the South West, bitch.

So after briefly floating in a womb with names floating around that may as well serve as a loose metaphor for Bristol being pregnant with a spectacular skate scene, Dan Wileman rips from the umbilical cord and gets this bloodbath started. After another excuse to see that bigflip at the 2008 Meanwhile Jam, Dan doesn’t slow with unexpected rapid-fire bangers. Aside from the most legit frontboard on a ledge since the 90s, Dan gets high on the monster rail atop Cardiff Bay’s steep red banks and stays around to flip manual the pad at Sports Café that does not get nearly enough attention from visitors. Look out for more from this guy in the Crayon video which will undoubtedly drop sometime this year whenever Dykie comes up with a name and manages to spell it correctly in the title sequence. There was a wink in that sentence.

From now on, people have not-so-much sections, but a period of time in the unstoppable mix to drop bangers as though in a free association session with RZA and the Clan. Amongst the montages it’s not easy to keep up with the action but what’s going on is most definitely not easy, no way, not ever, no sir. Motive’s Paul Carter hooks up with Wainwright to hit some beautiful architecture and make it a little bit more grimy before Flynn Trotman flies in and skates walls like they’re flatbanks. Tom Gibbs deserves a note and immediate re-watch for catching everything proper and perfect.

Jess Young comes in next and if you weren’t satisfied with his photos from the Kill City Hobo Tour in the mag then you’re a fool, but will soon become a satisfied and hopefully impressed fool. There’s an on-going joke with anyone who skates with Jess Young, you could be standing on top of a ledge that someone has placed on Everest for some reason and it won’t be long before someone says ‘ah we should get Jess on this butt’. Sure, there’s some big drops in this, but you’ll be surprised at how versatile he is too. Dylan Hughes is next and shows that he hasn’t had so much as a nap after his Motive section, watch out for that double set frontside flip…

Andy Makepeace has a beautiful, optimistic name, and also boasts a beautiful nollie frontside heel that’s also as optimistic as a nollie frontside heel could be. After throwing it down Lloyds he whacks one into a mayday on those haggard banks that get a trashing throughout. Nicky Howells follows in traditional pisstake mode. Amongst technical ledge tomfoolery there’s a lazer flip that’ll become instant enemies with your rewind button. Be nice to that little guy now, you’re gonna need that little button again in a few minutes. Snaddon closes this segment in the usual top of the pops manner, half cabbing over a bench at college green and reclaiming that location for what’s truly important in Bristol. Fuck Skins!

The end is nigh, and yet it’s still not safe to breathe. The Big Hoppa Owen Hopkins puts that inevitable hardflip on hold (it comes after ten tricks! the wait was as tense as a Tarantino scene with no cuts!) but when it does you will shit where ever you are sitting. So if you have a portable DVD player then head to the lav then. Just a heads up.

New Crayon recruit Korahn Gayle finishes one of the finest (literally, I wasn’t shoehorning an awkward reference to the title in here I promise) videos to come from Bristol (that had absolutely nothing from The Deaner in I should add, not a bad thing) in the last decade, and who better to do so. If you’re not already convinced that Korahn isn’t one of the most important skaters to emerge from not just Bristol but the UK in the last ten years then do us a favour – go and do a switch back 360 down Lloyds in the fucking rain and let’s hear you make the same verdict. Hold tight Bristol.

Stanley;

If you missed out on the free DVD, put the kettle on and watch the full film right here:

BRISTOL’S FINEST from Bristol's Finest on Vimeo.

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