Music News

Machine Head v Crap Music

Machine Head have lashed out at fans of Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance following their victory at the Kerrang awards. The statement said:

“[Our win] has apparently cut deep with fans of both bands, prompting a flood of angry whining and sad-faced emoticons on the Kerrang! message boards. Machine Head’s upset victory over the multi-platinum softcore acts sent their inherently sensitive fans into an emotional frenzy, building into a tizzy of unparalleled proportions.

Wrought with dismay, polished fingernails the world over lashed out at the band and metal as a whole with diatribes the likes of “MCR really should have won!!! I’m mad now!!!!”, “what a load of shit, who the fuck listens to them?” and “Stupid Machine Head!!”, at times stooping so low as to say the competition was fixed, and often gravely endangering the integrity of their carefully sideswept hair with posts like “I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL”.

We love you Machine Head.