Features Music

Top 3 Anti Diamond Jubilee songs

Union Jack Skull artwork with permission from Ben Allen.

Can you smell the sausages BBQ’ing? See the pot bellied, tattooed British men giving it the large on the pavements? Can you hear the radios spurting out plastic pop music and hits of yesteryear through tinny speakers hanging from dirty windowsills? Bunting waving in the wind from every lamp post? Oh yes, it’s the celebration that the great British public love – the Queen’s Reign of 60 years, the Diamond Jubilee, the same national event that will be celebrated by millions across the United Kingdom this weekend ahead of the Olympics, and oh, what it is to be British!

The working public will be raising glasses of plonk in the streets to Her Majesty’s service, all of them granted with a day off to party and celebrate her fascinating milestone. The streets will be alive with tales of the good old days, before the internet ruined it all, when families sat down to eat together, when porn was found in the woods, when records were actually bought rather than stolen. The Royal one will be sat at the throne waving her hands at the minions below whilst people hit the streets, ensuring burglars capitalise on the fun due to the worst recession we have seen in years. Partly due to greedy debt her people acquired so they can be seen in the latest designer clothes to clone the looks of the Prince and Princess and the actors and musicians they aspire to.

Not everyone will be waving Union Jacks this weekend. There are many across the country who simply don’t give a monkeys about the Royal spongers and would have not forgotten the days of them sitting at the head of Pall Mall with their smug faces back in the 1970’s, not paying tax, swallowing champagne and having butlers do everything for them.

Whilst Britain remembers itself for a week for the first time in ages, we decided to roll out our top 3 songs that poke fun at the establishment. Yes, they are all golden oldies, as there are not actually that many artists out there these days with any bollocks or lyrical skills to change the perceptions of the general public. In the 70’s, times were tough but people had a voice compared to these days where Anarchy means signing a Facebook petition. For the best results, play these all three songs at 11.

3. The Exploited – Royalty

Politically brash Scottish punks, The Exploited were well-known for their criticisms of the Thatcher government so “Punks Not Dead” album track “Royalty” came as a natural progression of their anti-authoritarian ethos. Here, the Queen receives some serious slandering in the form of lyrics “dirty little bitch” and “fucking little cow”. Mowhawk filth.

2. Sex Pistols – God Save the Queen

No anti-monarchy countdown would be complete without an appearance from Mr Rotten and his gang of filth and fury. The most celebrated anti-monarchical assault in history needs no explanation but to refresh those who don;t know, Virgin Records insisted it came out on the Jubilee in 1977 with the band celebrating the fact with a trip down the Thames on a boat. Their manager Malcolm McLaren was beaten up by the pigs with truncheons as they reached land and the band picked up more headlines than Diana conspiracy theories. ‘God Save The Queen’ went to number 2 in the charts, conspired against by the BBC and the Charts Company to keep it off the top spot. This is one of the best records of all time but sits at number 2 in this countdown once again to make way for…

1. Peter and The Test Tube Babies – The Queen Gives Good Blow Jobs

West Sussex’ moped-hating punks Peter and the Test Tube Babies shocked the scene with release of ‘The Loud Blaring Punk Rock Album’ back in 1984. Filled with derogatory lyrical filth across short but catchy punk tunes that gave a damn good pogo, they single-handedly take the most offensive Queen of England related dig from the mouth of singer Peter Bywaters with his take on Her Majesty’s love of giving fellatio. This album is one of the cheekiest British punk rock albums of all time, find it, be repulsed and sneer with them.

Thanks to artist Ben Allen who allowed us to use his amazing artwork. You can buy this limited edition art directly from here, find him on Facebook , Twitter, and via his blog.

Ben’s next solo exhibition DIRTY SEXY MONEY is his first London solo art show. An introduction to modern day pop art with a spinkling of skulls.

London June 28th – 30th 2012
32 Store Street

Chelmsford July 5th July – 28th July 2012
Boyton Hall Farm
Chelmsford, Essex


Duane Peters interview with Craig Questions

Skateboard legend Duane Peters chats to Craig Questions about how he got into skateboarding, Jason Jesse, the strains on your bones from skateboarding, fucking sheep and injuries in part one of this sofa session.

Features Music

Cerebral Ballzy video interview

Welcome to the world of Cerebral Ballzy, a hardcore band from New York whose band name I can never spell properly when typing it on a keyboard. This 5-piece have toured every shit hole out there and caused chaos with their energetic live sets for the last couple of years. Thankfully, we have had the pleasure of them playing 2 Crossfire events in 6 months and managed to sit down with them for a chat.

This video interview was shot at 2011’s Camden Crawl. The recording’s were lost on hard drive and then found recently, so enjoy their words discussing hardcore influences, the making of their debut album, skittle nipples, flourescent Nike’s, Raymond Pettibon’s studio in Venice Beach, being taught how to kickflip from the legendary Zoo York skater Harold Hunter (RIP) and more.

Music News

The Dwarves explode in London

the_dwarvesRaucous US punk band The Dwarves rolled back in to the UK last night and tore Camden’s Underworld a new ring-piece.

As soon as the band kicked off their set, the pit exploded with people flying everywhere and continued throughout the night. Singer, Blag found a random ‘performance artist’ on his travels – a stripper armed with an angle grinder and plenty of blood that soaked the audience on the last song. They also played a Ting Tings cover as Ting Tings cover as giant Hells Angels moshed amongst the rabble.

Look out for them ripping the UK up on this winter tour playing tracks from their great new album at the following dates:

Nov 20th – Thekla, Bristol (£11.00)
Nov 22nd – Manchester Moho Live, Manchester (£10.00)
Nov 23rd – Rock City, Nottingham (£11.00)
Nov 24th – Ivory Blacks, Glasgow (£10.00)
Nov 25th – The Cockpit, Leeds (£12.00)

Skateboarding News

Read Zac Crossfire’s Front interview in full

It’s not often i’m on the receiving end of questions, it’s usually the other way round, but on this occassion due to the 10 Year Anniversary and Front being involved, yours truly decided to do an interview with Front Magazine ahead of this year’s Massacre. A slither of this Q&A session was published in the Magazine in October, but this week, the lads at Front have made the entire interview available online.

Visit the Front website to find out more about where your daily skate and music zine comes from plus a little more on some of the highlights of the last 10 years here.

Music News

Crowns and Pheobe Winter join the Massacre line up!

The Crossfire Halloween Massacre is about to kick London’s arse on Friday night.

We are proud to tell you today that the bill has been expanded today with 2 new additions to the line up. Crowns will now be playing live in support to Cerebral Ballzy at 10.30pm. This new 4-piece band from Cornwall have a swagger in their step that could only fit a room full of drunken pirates. So get your pints at the ready as Crowns will be playing a 30 minute punk rock set in the Vans room as guests on the night and we cannot wait to see them play again.

Also added to the line up this week is Pheobe Winter from Planet Rock. Pheobe hosts the Metal Hammer show on Planet Rock radio will be tag teaming Talita Twoshoes in the Vans room and slamming in the rock and metal on the night. Get the last of the advance £10 tickets today as they are almost gone. There will be 100 on the door available for £15 from 9pm.

Get a free download from Crowns here today on us!

Buzz Chart Features Music

Introducing Burned Out Motors

burnedoutmotorsFilthy punk rock from the 70’s has a place that has been glued permanently in British history. It’s an area where many classic bands have laid foundations within our culture, spawning a plethora of music genres that still use the Punk term lightly. Thesedays, you are lucky to find a British Punk band that carries traditions and does it well. I’m talking about the raw, dirty punk rock that only the likes of the Pistols, Cockney Rejects and Sham 69 would be able to huck out; the sneering, fuck you stuff that gets us all up in the morning.

Welcome to the world of London punk band Burned Out Motors. A band who claim they “formed during a music therapy class within the confines of South London’s Wandsworth Prison.” I guess then, that the attitude that stems from their debut single ‘Bastard’ may well have been derived from picking up the soap a few times too many. Who knows, but they certainly bring sunshine and a little pain to my ears this morning on first listen.

Disposable but charming punk bands like this lot make the world go round and will eat that pansy boy, emo boy band shit out of newspaper covered in salt & vinegar on a daily basis. With that in mind, listen to these boozing, glue-sniffing, drinking, solvent abuse bragging, geezers who love kicking the shit out of cunts at their facebook page. There’s no fancy video, no wanky blog, nothing but this page out there right now, get stuck in.

Crossfire Events Music Events Music News Skateboarding News

Crossfire Halloween Massacre 2011 date announced

We have some good news for you regarding Halloween today. Last year’s Crossfire Halloween Massacre event didn’t happen due to a back injury, but this year we are back with an absolute banger to celebrate 10 years of Crossfire.

Expect 3 rooms full of party chaos including very special guests held at a venue in South London! A limited 100 cheaper £8 earlybird tickets have now sold out. Standard advance tickets can be found here but be quick as these are selling fast. Click here for the facebook page for all info. Please put the date of Friday October 28th in your dairy and we will see you there.

Crossfire Halloween Massacre

Music News

Footage of OFF! raging at XOYO last night

off_sleeveHardcore graced London’s XOYO club last night with OFF!, Fucked Up and Cerebral Ballzy all raging through a night of chaos in the capital. Watch 6 minutes of Keith Morris’ OFF! right here from the show.

If you want to see them before they jet home, they play the Old Blue Last tomorrow night with Pettybone. Info on fb here.

Read our review of the First 4 EP’s here.

Features Music

Vault Tune of the Week: The Dickies Banana Splits

thedickies_banansplitsWhen The Dickies formed in 1977 and unleashed their spiky but catchy punk rock on fun seeking, Los Angeles audiences, a major label in the US music industry broke the rule books and signed their first Californian ‘punk’ band. Throughout 1978 The Dickies released 4 singles on A&M Records including “Paranoid” that hit #45 in the UK charts and “Silent Night” that also made the top 50 at #47 and kept radio waves buzzing with energy.

But the breakthrough track that won the hearts of millions worldwide at the time was their most famous hit “Banana Splits”. This unique tune made it all the way to the #7 spot and was also slowed down to valium speeds to be used as the theme tune to the most bonkers kids TV program of all time- The Banana Splits. This confirms that the LSD was still freely available and damn good at the time, if nothing else.

Over the years, 5 different members who have drummed, played guitar keyboards and sax have passed away from suicide, heroin, heart related and pneumonia problems. That aside, the San Fernando Valley punk rockers carved their name into the legendary punk rock books and will be remembered forever. They will also be in England on tour in July at the following dates so get out and see them:

15th July – DERBY OLD BELL

Enjoy both sides of this Banana Split from these 2 videos- the more you watch, the sweeter it gets.