Skateboarding Product Reviews

Benson Death Issue 8.125″

You never know, but one day you might get caught skating behind enemy lines at that sick bank to wall spot round the back of President Mugabe’s house, and suddenly you’ll need to dive for cover in some nearby bushes to avoid the gunfire. Hiding is no good without camouflage, as they’ll see your little face poking out between the branches.

Lucky for you, you got yourself this new Death Skateboard deck just the other day and it has a full camo print on the bottom, perfect for hiding your head behind. At 8.125”, there’s plenty of room to cover even the fattest of faces. The only slight problem is the massive white Death logo and Benson’s name underneath, these white marks may give your position away.

Should this happen and you need to make a quick escape, dashing for your helicopter pick-up point, you’ll be pleased to know that this board’s width gives you a lot of control and manoeuvrability to weave in and out of tracer fire. Any obstacles that block your path, there’s more than enough pop to get over fallen trees, trip-wires and landmines. Maybe even chuck a cheeky kickflip in there, deflecting a few bullets with the underside along the way.

Confronted with armed guards, you’ve got a couple of options with this deck. Either go a bit tech and knock out a tre flip, giving them the worst shinners they’ve ever experienced. Or go for the gnarly option, rag it as fast as possible and bodyjar those fools in the head. Both methods would be no problem for this fine piece of wood.

You’ve nearly made it to the rendezvous point, but there’s one final problem. The bridge up ahead has been taken out and your only option is to frontside lipslide the remaining rails. This is where the slow motion mega-action ‘I am Rambo’ bit happens, your war-torn board becoming another film icon as you slide down that rail, John Woo explosions going off in the background, landing and popping your board into your hand as you commando roll into the chopper.

So, in short, this Death Benson board will suit you down to the ground should you ever find yourself on the frontline of a jungle conflict, or if you’re just hacking it round your local concrete jungle.