Once there were people happily milling about taking part in the day to day rat race that humans become accustomed to, ripping each other off, taking over each others territories and generally surviving….
But now, the planet’s greed has now become fast food for the fallen where the mighty and the avaritious are nothing more than tasty morsels for Zombie flesh munchers that play some of the best old school thrash metal since Slayer! Let us serve your brains to the UK’s most hungry living dead….welcome to the world of Send More Paramedics…
This interview with lead singer B’Hellmouth was surgically removed by Ryan Bird, before he was carried out on a stretcher destined for his local Oxford morgue – R.I.P Brother Ryan
Good day there my flesh eating amigos. How’s tricks?
Eaten any tasty limbs lately?
I heard a rumour that you’re not really zombies. Is this blasphemous speculation true?
DUH, LIKE YEAH, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE, HUMANS DRESSED UP AS ZOMBIES? SEND MORE PARAMEDICS IS 100% DEAD.
If you’re REALLY zombies, then why have a name like Send More Paramedics? Surely you want LESS paramedics because that means there’s less interference with your blood-splattered quest!
PARAMEDICS TASTE GOOD. SEE ‘RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD’ FOR DETAILS.
Why choose to be zombies? Why not be a giant pack of Tesco Value sausage rolls? Or a 4-fingered twix?
WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT. IF WE WAIN’T ZOMBIES THEN WE WOULDN’T GET TO EAT BRAINS….
If you could zombify any band, then who would it be and why?
SLAYER…BUT THEN I GUESS THAT WOULD KIND OF PUT OUR ZOMBIFIED PSEUDO-THRASH-METAL SCHTICK OUT OF BUSINESS…
If you could zombify any lovely, lovely lady – then who would it be and why?
THEY TASTE BETTER ALIVE…
I bet you’d eat her good and proper, wouldn’t you?
Do you have any favourite horror/zombie movies?
RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD…REANIMATOR…ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS…NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD…
What’s your favourite blood type? I favour a nice O myself…
After devouring a victim, do you ever get hungry for seconds and go back for more, but by that time the blood is all crusty and looks a bit like Corn Flakes? That’s just not right is it? Do you have to peel off the scab to get it flowing again or what?
You must get a shit load of fucked up groupies who are into this zombie thing. Ever had any interesting offers?
WELL, THE LADIES DO LOVE TO BE SCARED…IT’S MORE BEGGING THAN OFFERING – BEGGING NOT TO BE DEVOURED, THAT IS….
It’ll probably be gothic looking ladies who request fucked up shit, but I hear it’s illegal for gothic looking women to be minging, so that’s a bonus, right?
ONE THING I LOVE ABOUT THIS BAND IS THAT IT INSPIRES PEOPLE TO USE THEIR IMAGINATIONS…
You recently spread the flesh-tearing chaos to the unsuspecting Donington masses. How did your conversion plot go?
AMAZING. THE GREATEST DAY OF MY DEATH. WE HAD A GREAT TIME, AND HOPEFULLY WE IMPLANTED THE INFECTION IN A FEW NEW BRAINS…PLUS I GOT TO SEE SLAYER AND MOTORHEAD LIVE – SWEET.
What about your new split release with Zombie Apocalypse – don’t you feel threatened that another bunch of zombies are trying to muscle in on your turf?
NOT AT ALL. WE’VE GOT EUROPE COVERED AND THEY’VE GOT THE STATES. THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING…SOON THE CONTAGION WILL SPREAD TO ENGULF THE WHOLE OF CIVILISATION! AH-HAH-HAH-HAAAARRGGGHHHHHH!!!!
I bet your dad’s could beat up their dad’s…
NO SURE ON THAT ONE…THINK THEY’RE ALL PROBABLY DECEASED…
I reckon you should have some sort of audience based sacrifice before each show on your upcoming UK tour. What do you think? Fancy a bit of public funny business?
WE NORMALLY SAVE THE SACRIFICE UNTIL AFTERWARDS, WHEN OUR PREY IS EXHAUSTED FROM MOSHING…
What about some private funny business afterwards, big boy *purrs and rubs legs*
CERTAINLY…BUT I THINK I MAY HAVE SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT IN MIND FROM YOU…