Jason Adams Corporate Overkill deck

Hurrah, another free board to thrash. Moose said he was going to send me up a Jason Adams pro from Black Label, the only skateboarder in the world to wear shorter trousers than me (and they ain't reason why I tried to grow a greaser quiff a while back). I'm totally out of whack with anything to do with skating because I thought "The Kid" was still on that "other" company, but apparently he's gone back to suckle on the teat that reared him. Which is fine by me. Until, that is, I started tearing open the package, in a manly way, when I thought I saw a flash of, no, it can't be this is Black Label here, no, oh my god... someone sent me a pink skateboard. A neon pink skateboard. And to make matters worse- it was indeed a Adams Black Label pro model. What the hell am I suppose to do with a pink skateboard?

So I took to my backgarden morgue to do a some pre-skate analysis.
I found a dead mouse. It was quite small, looked like it'd been there for a while- but the cool thing about small dead things is they don't smell that much. I was hoping loads of guts and whatnot would spill out of it once I twatted it with the pink skateboard. But to my dismay it just went really really flat in a puff of dead dust. Mildly peaved at the lack of gore (but stoked that I had acquired a spanking new book mark) I went to go see how my headless deer corpse was fermenting. Gore assured.

I hadn't gone to look at him in about a week, and he was a real mess back then. Ripped intestines spilling undigested deer poo everywhere and the rest of it's innards seemed to have corroded it's bum hole into gigantic proportions. But would you believe it, someone must of been uber hungry because there wasn't much left of him. The hot smell was still there, but little else- I even I had to go and retrieve a couple of legs that some disrespectful little cretin must of pulled off. So to add insult to injury I stuck the pink skateboard deep in it's bowels to hopefully purify it of it's girliness. And I think it worked a treat.

Apart from the pink, the only other thing wrong with the skateboard is the fact it has a nose. I don't think Jason Adams does any nollie tricks, I certainly don't, so why bother putting one on. Instead they should have mounted a roadkill skull on the front, which I would of thought would fit Adams down to a T.

So what have you learnt reading this review? Let's recap-

1) Black Label skateboards are good for flattening dead mice.
2) Black Label skateboards fit nicely into deer carcass'.

That and heavy metal is a wonderful thing. Today I recommend Rompeprop's "Menstrual Stomphulk".
Innit.

Zombie.